Critique

Boyd Justin

Professor Broadous

PAS 114b

February 23, 2012

Critique

            I read the story A New Tomorrow and the tone was very well done. It depicted the environment present day and the past and was very detailed and specific. The story and diction caused a smile upon my face during the happy parts and slight frown during the low points. The tone seemed to be one of the better traits of the story. It met my expectations.

            The audience was treated fairly well in the story. Most of the details were included and helped me, since I am the audience this time, understand what was going on and how and why certain event had happened. There were some times where I wondered why one thing was the way it was written or something seeming out of place but those were only small things. The audience was mostly addressed and informed regarding almost all happenings in the story.

            Details throughout the story are very vivid. There were some points, like the pancakes in the beginning of the story, where I would have liked more of a description just so I could get a sense of smell other than knowing they were sweet. The details were more general than specific to anything. Nothing was fully explained like how I would’ve imagined but they are overall solidly explained.

            The symbolism in the story was very clear and concise. I had no confusion as to what the doll stood for or the food. Everything was symbolized perfectly. This, in my opinion was the best aspect of the story because it was clearly explained and there was no sense of confusion at all.

            The structure as far as the storyline and how it was told was average. The flashbacks went where a person would assume they would go and everything else followed suit. There were a few seemingly misplaced sentences but those were tiny problems. The last paragraph was very confusing as far as its length, it is incredibly short, especially compared to the behemoth of paragraphs previous to it. Besides that one paragraph all else was consistent.

            The organization seemed a bit sloppy. The flashbacks were infused with the story paragraphs and there were a few points where I could not distinguish the reality from the past, such as the beginning, until I read on. I would have enjoyed seeing a better transition other than it just happening other than that everything held it’s own and compiled into a nicely told story.