Boyd Justin
Professor Broadous
PAS 114b
February 23, 2012
Critique
The voice and tone were done very well I could really
feel the sadness the character was going through. I could imagine the shakiness
of his voice and the discouragement he felt from losing his loved one. The
change in tone when the flashbacks would occur seemed a bit lacking because
there wasn’t as much detail regarding feelings but there was still a since of
feeling just not as strong. The tone was done very well.
Organization was solid. I expected the flash backs to be
more distinguished. There was one flashback that didn’t have an introduction to
let the reader know the flashback was happening. The transition between them were
just dates, I would’ve enjoyed something that would’ve eased the reader into
the flashback other than just dates. Other than that the organization was
great.
The structure was average. Like I said in the previous
paragraph there could have been a better way for the transition. In this area
there was a bit of lacking with connecting the paragraphs. Even when the
paragraphs weren’t followed by a flashback there seemed to be abit of a missing
sentence that would relate them.
The meaning was very well done. The saying that the main
character had was very emotional and helped to connect the reader to the
character. The meaning of this story is one of the main reasons I enjoyed the
story.
The audience was also done very well.
Everything was explained thoroughly and I could understand everything that was
happening. Aside from the transition this area was flawless.
The detail put into the story was great. The descriptive
words used helped me to connect with the character, his emotions and the
environment. This was done the best out of all of the categories and it helped
me to enjoy the story as much as I did.
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